As many of my family and friends know, I am not the resolution kind of person. Generally speaking, January 1 is an arbitrary day in a year that we celebrate as if there is some special meaning to this day. Most of my ‘resolutions’ in the past have been a response to my date of birth which has far greater importance in my own personal history.
Despite that, however, there is some retrospective value to the concept of reflection on this day. January takes its name on our calendar from an ancient Roman god named Janus. Janus was a two-faced god with one face looking into the future and the other looking into the past.
From that perspective, a day of reflection is certainly in order. Though I often reflect and share those reflections to varying degrees of popularity, this is a unique time to look back at the year gone by and forward to what lay ahead.
I know many have commented on this and my voice is just another to drone on about what this year has brought. I am not going to lament those things I cannot control. I cannot control that a virus has forever changed our lives. What I can lament is how those changes have affected relationships. It is troubling that a disease has caused so much struggle between friends and families, divided on multiple lines. Was the virus real or not? Were our rights violated or not? What is more troubling than these questions is the sheer unwillingness to engage in civil conversations. Sometimes the conversations would start with civility – only to erupt into inflamed passions with little logic.
There was civil unrest in this nation unlike anything we have seen in nearly a half-century. Again, the unrest created divided families; lost friendships; lost careers and even lost lives.
What did I see wrong in 2020? Passions ruled in a manner that can only be described as unhealthy. Anger and vitriol beget more anger and vitriol. Disagreements became rage and hate. A nation turned on itself in a sort of ideological civil war that played out in living rooms, on television screens and in protests and counter-protests. This is the most division of which I have any conscious memory. To think that we are coming up on the twentieth anniversary of a unifying moment for this nation more divided than ever makes me wonder if the nation can recover its senses and get back to fixing our crises.
These divisions arise out of real crises and those are not going to go away – but they will be amplified with the rancor and animosity that currently exists. If this nation is to repair its scars; heal their wounds; we must find a way to come together with a shared purpose; a goal that unites us as members of something larger than a party affiliation.
That leads me to something I saw which is encouraging.
Participation. We saw more participation in our democracy this past year than any presidential race in modern history. According to some early statistics, this was the highest turnout since at least 1904. That is a step in the right direction. While the concept of this nations founding is mistakenly attributed to a few very smart men, one thing we know about how the United States evolved is that it was never meant to be an oligarchy run by a few men; nor was it meant to be a nation ruled by simple popular majority.
The first and most important step toward a better future is getting more people involved in the governance of their nation, their states, their counties and their cities. We have taken that very first and most important step. We still need to be better educated as voters and not simply repeat taglines that politicians use to catapult their candidacy. We still need to understand the larger scale impact of those simplistic slogans. But there is hope in the increased care for our governance.
I find hope in the reality that more people availed themselves of their first amendment rights; not because I agreed with the manner in which many chose to exercise those rights, but because people cared enough to consider what their rights were in the first place.
Were people willing to hear opposing points of view? Despite the violent clashes which represented some of our bitter disagreements nationally, I think that there were quiet moments where opposing viewpoints were heard and carefully considered. But those moments are not newsworthy. It hardly leads to a good headline to hear “two groups met today, discussed the issues; continued to disagree and went their separate ways quietly.”
That’s the thing about news; it still has to sell advertising and so what we hear are really the most salacious, or the most ‘heart-warming’ tales. There seems to be no middle ground. We treat opinion shows as if they are news and that assists in the devolution of our discourse. An hour long opinion wrapped in a cozy little headline to further incite our passions only creates more division.
If there is one hope I have for every one of my friends, family, and citizens of this world is that we read opinion only as an anecdote to the news, rather than accept them as the actual news. I also hope that we all take the time to consider perspectives different than our own; to read news from varied credible sources to get a deeper understanding of the world that surrounds us.
Personally, this year was a wild and wacky ride. Those that know me are probably aware that I do not like roller coasters – and 2020 was exactly that; a roller-coaster ride. To recap, I started the year with a drive down to Pasadena to watch two generational talents in a Rose Bowl victory. I followed that with another incredible trip to Hawaii to cover the Polynesian Bowl.
I learned a lot about myself during those trips – and was really ready to put some new knowledge to use. Then, like the rest of the nation, my plans changed.
I have not detailed in-depth with those outside of a very tight inner-circle what led me to some of the decisions I made along with Leslie this past year-plus.
We moved back to Oregon in August 2019 with the express knowledge that there were some changes about to happen within my (now former) company. Ostensibly, I was brought back to run our Madras location. But there were also some changes that were going to happen once a new contract was signed. I would be promoted and move back to Portland. Well, Covid cancelled the long-term aspect and my job in Madras was eliminated.
I was left with a choice, be stranded and jobless in Redmond (which means we would have likely just returned to South Carolina) or move to Portland and hope that the down time from Covid would be minimal and that the prior plans would take effect soon.
It became clear to me by late June that this was simply not going to happen and the nature of the current climate meant it might never happen.
When I started on this road to a MBA, it was with a duality of purpose. First, I wanted to finish my initial career goal. When I graduated from Oregon, I was supposed to go straight to graduate school in Ohio. For obvious reasons, I cancelled that plan and did my best to establish normalcy. I considered returning multiple times and the timing never seemed right. Until it was finally time.
Secondly, it took me 15 years to get to a career-path job and I wanted to see where I could take myself if I applied myself. I am fortunate to appear somewhat younger than my actual age and this was my chance for a professional growth I had not pursued sooner for personal reasons. This was the chance to see what I could do, and I knew that the MBA would help propel me; so when the opportunity for internal growth was taken away, Leslie and I made the difficult decision to have me leave the security of a company for whom I had spent 10 years working.
It was scary. I liked the comfort. But I also embraced the challenge. So far, the decision has worked very well. But I am reminded with how 2020 proceeded that nothing is known about the future. There has been so much animosity this year; so many friendships and families destroyed by the division.
Nonetheless, like all years, I am left with hope. Confusion has seemed to thrive and yet involvement gives me hope. I hope that we can have more discourse; I hope that our very real racial divides can be mended. I have been very vocal about the topics which matter to me and I know that has turned off a lot of people. But for those of you who stuck around, who asked honest questions and listened to feedback, thank you.
For those friends with whom our bond became closer in response to my vocal opinions, I thank you as well. It means something that friends responded with passion and vigor. It means we care. When we stop caring is when democracy dies. We must fight to keep it alive with passion directed not in anger, but in hope. Passion directed not in hatred, but in love.
I used this quote at the end of an article I wrote for Duck Sports Authority which should be the mantra for 2021:
“Perseverance is more prevailing than violence; and many things which cannot be overcome when they are together, yield themselves up when taken little by little”. Plutarch
